A collection of amazing 20 funny good morning quotes,best 20 funny good morning quotes compilation

funny good morning quotes


1.
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. – Rodney Dangerfield
 

2.
It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. – Colin Powell
 

3.
Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up. – Jack LaLanne
 

4.
Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut? – Jack LaLanne

 

5.
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra
 

6.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: “President Can’t Swim.” – Lyndon B. Johnson
 

7.
That’s the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they’d be like, ‘Yeah, big deal. I’d eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you’re pulling down.’ – Jim Carrey

 

8.
Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together. – Ray Bradbury

 

9.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this. – Jeff Foxworthy

 

10.
The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

 
11.
I woke up this morning, and I still don’t believe I won the Daytona 500. – Dale Earnhardt

 
12.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. – Henry David Thoreau

 
13.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx

 
14.
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. – Benjamin Franklin
 

15.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?” – Will Rogers
 

16.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. – Mitch Hedberg
 

17.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said “No, I made a few mistakes.” – Steven Wright
 

18.
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. – Bill Gates
 

19.
I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls. – Henry David Thoreau
 
 
20.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born. – Rodney Dangerfield