The Big Lebowski quotes
“Dude” Lebowski, mistaken for a millionaire Lebowski, seeks restitution for his ruined rug and enlists his bowling buddies to help get it.
The Dude: This is the fuckin’ guy! I can find this fuckin’ Lebowski guy!
Donny: His name’s Lebowski? That’s your name, Dude!
2.The Dude: Yes, Walter, you’re right. There is an unspoken message here. It’s “FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” Yeah, I’ll be at practice.
The Dude: Who the fuck are you, man?
Knox Harrington: [giggles] Oh, just a friend of Maudie’s.
The Dude: Yeah, a friend with a cleft asshole?
Maude Lebowski: Uli Kunkol? Her co-star in the beaver picture?
The Dude: Beaver? Uhhhh, you mean vagina…? I mean, you know the guy?
Maude Lebowski: Oh, I might have introduced them for all I know.
[looks at Knox]
Maude Lebowski: You remember Uli?
Knox Harrington: Mmmmm.
5.Walter Sobchak: Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors… and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and… up to… Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
6.The Dude: At least I’m housebroken.
The Stranger: [voiceover] Way out west there was this fella… fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Lebowski, he called himself “The Dude”. Now, “Dude” – that’s a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Los Angeles the “City Of Angels.” I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice folks there. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what – after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I’m about to unfold took place back in the early ’90s – just about the time of our conflict with Sad’m and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there’s a man… I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Dude, in Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man – and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But… aw, hell. I’ve done introduced him enough.
8.The Dude: I’m sorry your stepmother is a nympho.
9.The Dude: Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to face the fact you’re a goddamn moron.
The Big Lebowski: Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum.
Brandt: We’ve been frantically trying to reach you, Dude.
The Big Lebowski: Where is my goddamn money you bum?
The Dude: Just take it easy man.
Walter Sobchak: I’m perfectly calm Dude.
The Dude: [shouting] Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Will you just take it easy?
Walter Sobchak: Calmer than you are.
The Dude: Ah, fuck it.
The Big Lebowski: Fuck it! Yes! That’s your answer. That’s your answer for everything! Tattoo it on your forehead!
The Dude: Oh, fuck me, man! That kid already spent all the money, man!
Walter Sobchak: New ‘Vette? Hardly, Dude. I’d say he’s still got about $960 – $970,000 left, depending on the options.
Walter Sobchak: Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.
Donny: What’s wrong with Walter, Dude?
15.The Dude: I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.
[at the funeral parlor]
Walter Sobchak: GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we’re bereaved, that doesn’t make us saps!
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