Top 100 amazing and funny morning quotes

funny morning quotes,good morning quotes,morning quotes

funny morning quotes,good morning quotes,morning quotes

You’ve got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costume.” — Jarod Kintz

Angels usually show up in the morning but I have showed up now. So all you need to do is bow down a bit and wish yourself a happy morning as a sign of respect. Cheers mate!” — Melanie Leroy’s


At five in the morning, I was half asleep. The whole left side of my body was taking a nap. Seems I’m also always half in love, from my waist down.” — Jarod Kintz

Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” — Elbert Hubbard

Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” — Meister Eckhart

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut? — Jack LaLanne

Each morning we are born again, what we do today is what matters most” — unknown

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. — William Feather

Every day” born ordinary it’s in our hand to make it extraordinary” — Iraniya Naynesh

Every morning has a new beginning… ” — unknown

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. — Robert Orben

Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together. — Ray Bradbury

Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well. —  unknown

Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says Good joke”. Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss

Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one… only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite

God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock. —  unknown

Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Night! These are not just mere greetings. They are powerful blessings, setting the best vibration for the day. Hence, whether it is morning, afternoon or night, make sure that you say your greeting right!” — Franco Santoro

Good Morning! It’s a brand new day… ” — unknown

Got up this morning and could not find my glasses. Finally had to seek assistance. Kate Winslet found them inside a flower arrangement.” — Emma Thompson

I believe there should be a better way to start each day…instead of waking up every morning… — Melchor Lim quotes 

I don’t like the morning, because it starts when I’m still asleep. —  unknown

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. — Frank Sinatra

I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over so I refuse to have a bad day.” — Paul Henderson

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were! — Steven Wright

I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls. — Henry David Thoreau

I lack sleep: are the nights so short, or do I sleep so fast? —  unknown

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill

I never wake up in the morning and wonder why I am here. I wake up and wonder why I am not making here better.” — Jeffrey Fry

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. — Mitch Hedberg

I think I’m allergic to morning —  unknown

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. — Benjamin Franklin

I want to end this by wishing you a day full of good people who will smile and take care of you. I hope you get closer to success and live the life of happiness you have always dreamed of. Good morning.” — Jane White

I woke up this morning, and I still don’t believe I won the Daytona 500. — Dale Earnhardt

I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. — Michael J. Fox

If I offer her to sleep over, she might misunderstand. And she will be right. —  unknown

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: President Can’t Swim.” — Lyndon B. Johnson

In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the morning: I’m sorry, it was very dark, I didn’t notice. —  unknown

In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning. — Carl Sandburg

Insomnia is not a problem; a problem is when you don’t know why you get up in the morning. —  unknown

Is this me, or today I will again go to sleep tomorrow. —  unknown

It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. — Colin Powell

It is only in the morning that one should marry, read unfavourable reviews, make one’s will, beat one’s servants, and so forth.” — E.T.A. Hoffmann

It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it. — Zora Neale Hurston

Its morning time already and its time to widen those teeny tiny eyes. Stretch those tough buff arms, wiggle that silky slinky hair and eat some salty malty fries.” — Jessie Tower

John Ford was so funny that I couldn’t wait to go to work in the morning. — Richard Widmark

Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning. — Bill Gates


Let your soul expand, let your heart reach out to others… ” — unknown

Life always offer you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow” — unknown

Life laugh at you when you are unhappy… ” — unknown

Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” — Richard Whately

Love the life you live; Live the life you love” — unknown

Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night’s sleep, and you can’t settle anything until morning anyway. — Rose Kennedy

Mistakes increase you experience… ” — unknown

Mood forming in a good morning.” — Toba Beta


Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook

Morning paradox – it takes forever to fall asleep and only a second to fall asleep in the morning. —  unknown

My children are the reason I laugh, smile and want to get up every morning.” — Gena Lee Nolin

My day starts like a regular guy’s. I wake up, drink raw eggs, run around Philadelphia, and punch raw slabs of meat. Wait, that’s not my story-that’s Rocky’s. I get us confused all the time.” — Jarod Kintz

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this. — Jeff Foxworthy

My mother had morning sickness after I was born. — Rodney Dangerfield

Now that your eyes are open, make the sun jealous with your burning passion to start the day. Make the sun jealous or stay in bed.” — Malak El Halabi

On Sunday mornings, as the dawn burned into day, swarms of gulls descended on the uncollected trash, hovering and dropping in the cold clear light.” — Edward Conlon

One morning I woke up and was plunged into psychological shock. I had forgotten I was free. — Jack Henry Abbott

People blessed with peaceful nights greet mornings.” — Rana Junaid Mustafa Gohar

Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up. — Jack LaLanne
Rise up and attack the day with enthusiasm” — unknown

Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.” — Yoko Ono

Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” — Job Might

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. — Seth MacFarlane

Somebody said to me this morning, ‘To what do you attribute your longevity?’ I don’t know. I mean, I couldn’t have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I’ve lived the last 30 years! — Ozzy Osbourne

Sometimes, getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth is the hardest part of the day – it all just hurts. — Tom Brady

Stop thinking of what could go wrong and start thinking of what could go right” — unknown

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do that day, which must be done, whether you like it or not.” — James Russell Lowell

Thank God for another day. Don’t waste it!” — unknown

That’s the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they’d be like, ‘Yeah, big deal. I’d eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you’re pulling down.’ — Jim Carrey

The alarm is on in the morning not because the windshield is busted, but the windshield is busted because the alarm is on in the morning. —  unknown

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. — Robert Frost

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, How is the president?” — Will Rogers

The mind is a wonderful thing: it wakes up when you do and falls asleep when you reach the office. —  unknown

The one, who snores, is the first one to fall asleep. —  unknown

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. — Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The scent of the morning is prepared by the night; the scent of the night is prepared by the day; everything helps everything!” — Mehmet Murat ildan

The world is new to us every morning – this is God’s gift and every man should believe he is reborn each day.” — Baal Shem Tov

There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning’!” — Fulton J. Sheen

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. — Henry David Thoreau

They know these mornings well and love them desperately because they cannot last – these people who know that nothing lasts.” — Peter S. Beagle

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. — Rodney Dangerfield

To simply wake up every morning a better person than when I went to bed.” — Sidney Poitier

Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen” — unknown

Wake up with determination, go to bed with satisfaction” — unknown

We love the morning, because we know that there will be night soon! We love the night, because we know that there will be morning soon! Who loves the morning if there shall be no night? Who loves the night if there shall be no morning?” — Mehmet Murat ildan

What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.” — Timur Vermes

When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas. — Emo Philips

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good?” I said No, I made a few mistakes.” — Steven Wright

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive… ” — unknown

When you wake up every morning… ” — unknown

Without any friends, life is a waste. Without any love, heart is almost a waste. Without any story, a movie is almost a waste and without a quote from me, your morning is a waste. Have a great day!” — Hal Fester

You are going to read the sweetest quote of your life around 9 am in the morning from one of the most loving persons on earth. Then when you read it, smile and say that I am the best. Thanks and good morning.” — Jericho Peters

You can’t be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning: ‘Holy Christ, whaddya know – I’m still around!’ It’s absolutely amazing that I survived all the booze and smoking and the cars and the career. — Paul Newman

You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great” — unknown